Singing Life's Poem

Yo.

2008-12-09T20:22:00.000-08:00

I'm in a wonderful mood. In drama we started watching West Side Story, and I freaking love it! And now I'm watching it online because we won't finish it in class. It's really amazing. Also, we're having a dinner play thingy soon. I don't want to explain it because I had to explain it to two people already. I don't want to have to re-explain. I will say this, though, I auditioned. I didn't think I did bad, but there were a ton of people better. Maybe I got in. Who knows?! But now I want to talk about other stuff. I have a follower on this blog. Whoever the hell "C" is. Lol. Tell me who you are, 'kay? Thanks =]. So I read Beedle the Bard. I don't have to tell you how fucking amazing it was. JKR is a genius, I understand this. I wish I could be good at writing =/. Ah well. This isn't a depressed post! I loved the book, 'nuff said. I also got another little book called Harry, A History. If you're not part of the fandom, it's a book about the Harry Potter fandom. It's written by the webmistress of the Leaky Cauldron, Melissa Anelli. I'm loving it so far. Maybe I'll return to the fandom eventually. I'm not really "MISSING" it, so to speak, but it's aite. So I'm procrastinating my homework and watching West Side Story right now. So that's why I'm making this blog post. I've got nothing better to do. Well, I'm pretty lifeless. I don't know why you're following me, "C." Anyway, thanks to anyone who cares enough to read this. Ily <3

Hm.

2008-12-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

So yeah. I kept up my promise. I'm updating this almost every day now. That makes me a happy camper. =]. So anyway, today is Friday. I won't usually post on Thursdays because 1) they're my least favorite day of the week, and 2) it's the day with the most work/the most things I need to do. Fuck Thursdays, I love Fridays. I don't have to do any homework today, and I have dance class later and I get to stay up and then SLEEP IN tomorrow morning. God, I love sleeping in. So anyways, not a lot has been happening I guess. I STILL haven't gotten Beedle the Bard. I wish I could get it today, but idk if I can because I have to go to dance class and then to a choir concert after. One of my friends is in it, and i love her. I'm eating rice right now. Lol. Random. Ily. CONTINUING! I'm looking forward to the concert if I can get it, and then for sure tomorrow I am getting that damned book! lol. JKR <3. So I know I've mentioned on here before that I'm leaving the Harry Potter fandom, but now I've announced it on facebook. If you're one of my facebook friends, you'll be able to see it in the notes that I've made. There are some comments on it, but I'm kind of just letting them go through one ear and out the other. But maybe Katie's comment is right, maybe I should just take a break from it all. But when I come back, people will treat me the same. Or at least, that's what I think. OMFG. It's Friday, I should go play pokemon. Lolol. I think I will after I post this. Omg, I should go see if Fresh Prince is on. I love that show. And I <3 Will Smith, he's my favorite actor everrrr. Lol. WS <3. So today I'm in a much better mood than I was lately. It could just be because of the crappy Thursday, but................. idk. I'm a happy child. So I've also started looking into what it takes to be a lawyer and stuff, and I'm telling you... it doesn't look fun =/... But... I'm not going to get anywhere with writing, because I totally suck at it. So I guess lawyer is the way to go. Maybe I'll get lucky and enjoy this kind of stuff. Eh. Doubt it. But I mean... I'm good at speaking and debating, right? Well, I might not be GOOD at it, but I'm helluva lot better at that than writing. I mean, even if you just read my blog posts you'll see how crappy I am. Like, I use adjectives like "crappy." WTF? And I pretty much write my stories how I talk. So I'm not going to be a writer anymore, I've dropped my dream of becoming like John Green or JKRowling. I guess I'll just have to... life with that. FMFL. Ah well. So how have you been doing? Leave a comment and tell me, I'd love to hear about YOUR day for once. Oh, btw, Blogger has this nifty little device on the right side of the page right over there that will allow you to follow my blog. I mean, all you need is a google account, and every time you log into blogger, you get updated if I've made a new post or not! I'd love to see how many people actually read my emo rants. Click follow if you do, that would make me so happy if anyone was actually interested in what I said. *Sigh* I'm about to be very honest right now. Ever since I've started being single again I've been really lonely. I mean, I'm not even lonely. I just feel like I am. I feel like I want a boyfriend or someone who will care about me, and not just some jerk face who tells me lies that he cares about me. I mean, I want someone real. But there's apparently no guy like that for me. Maybe I did have a perfect guy once, but his life was so bad that he committed suicide. Maybe. Maybe I should follow him and do the same. Is there really anyone out there for me? For some reason, I highly doubt that. Who the eff would like a girl like me? Maybe a moron. Yeah, that's it! Maybe my perfect guy is retarded. It could work... kinda. So I've been thinking a little too much about guys lately. It's starting to get bad. Why can't I just accept the fact that I'm single? FMFL. Oh well. I just hope I don't get really desperate and fall for one of the worst guys possible. That would be bad. Anyway, see you next rant. Thanks to everyone who cares enough to read this. Ily <3

Omfg.

2008-12-03T15:45:00.000-08:00

So I said I'd be updating my blog more often, and so I shall keep my promise. I guess maybe I'm just here because I'm bored, but really... idk. So anyway, first thing's first. I'd like to thank my wonderful beautiful amazingly awesome coolio freakish too many adjectives friends for being so wonderful beautiful amazing awesome coolio freakish and too many more adjectives. You guys are fucking amazing and I love you. And no, I shall never be a homo dude. DARLING. Lol. Anyway. So I'm still in a sort of in a pissed off mood at practically the entire Harry Potter fandom. Or at least the people I have met through it. I really freaking hate all of them right now. Except maybe two individuals. But other than them, they all sort of piss me off. I'm not going to say any names in case anyone is reading this. But no one is reading this, so why should I give a shit? Leave a comment on this post if you're actually reading this. Or tell me, either one works. Thnx. Ily <3. SO. I'm still trying to be the very best that no one ever was. THAT'S RIGHT! I'm talking about pokemon. Pokemonpokemonpokemon. I love it so much, I have a henna tattoo on my hand of a pokeball. I chose the pokeball because it's the easiest to draw. I was thinking about doing pikachu, but then I was like "HELL NO! I can't draw for shit!" So yeah. Pokemon. Teehee. The next episode that I haven't watched/hasn't been aired in English yet is coming out December 6th. I can't wait! Even though the Sinnoh region totally sucks compared to Kanto and Johto. Sorry if you don't know what I'm talking about lol. So on my Crystal (I think I said this already...) I beat the Johto region and now I've beet Lt. Surge who is the third gym leader in Kanto. I'm so awesome! <3 Typhlosion. But the thing I'm looking forward to the most is catching new strong Kanto region pokemon. I'm sick of training all my pokemon to level up. Bleh. Like, I caught this lvl 16 Marril just so I could use surf (Because in general, I hate water pokemon) but then once I started going into Kanto, I caught a tentecruel that's lvl 30! So I totally used that instead of Marril. But then, once I made it to Vermillion city, I found this other tentecruel that was 37!! I didn't catch it though. That was dumb. So yeah, pokemon is becoming a really big part of my life again. I absolutely love it =]. OMFG! Beedle the Bard is coming out tomorrow! I'm so excited, I really want to buy it! But if I buy it on Amazon, it's not going to come in tomorrow, and I really want it! But then again, what kind of Harry Potter fan doesn't want to buy it? CRAZY ONES! Lol. I love Harry Potter with all my heart (well, the part of my heart that doesn't love other things like John Green, Pokemon and my IRL friends) but the people I've met through the fandom (except those two people) are all fucking idiots. Yay! Well... maybe a little more than two people. I guess. Maybe. But definitely a majority.... Fuck them, I've got real friends whom I can see in front of my face whenever I want. I'm so glad. But I really just feel like killing myself at the moment. I totally have officially given up on being a writer now. I mean, no one really cares. I suck at writing anyway. I mean, I'm really bad. There are so much more better people than me. Oh well. FMFL. But I'm really only in a bad mood because I don't know if I should leave the HP-Fandom or not. I really don't know. I really don't. But... so far I'm sticking with yes I'm leaving it. And if those fuckers want me back, they can kiss my ass. But if I quit weekofwicked and shut down my twitter, I don't think they'd have any ways of contacting me. Thank God! And I don't want certain people whom I hate to call this a plea for attention. I don't want them to say "Oh, she's just trying to create more drama and that's why she's doing this. She wants people to pay attention to her." Fuck them. You know what? This isn't a plea for attention or anything like that. It's really not. I want to leave this fucking world that we call "the fandom" because I don't feel like I belong in that crowd. This is not a gimmick for attention, just so people know. And posting on this blog isn't, either, because I need a way to release all this fucking stuff inside of me so I don't explode or something. And I have no one to release it to, so I release it on this blog and then it just... goes. It's like if cellular respiration just took place in one step, all the energy would go to waste by being release as heat into the atmosphere. I guess that's a good thing for me, though. I'm letting it all out at once into the atmosphere, and no one can judge me on it. Unless they care enough to see how I'm doing. FMFL. Maybe I should just kill myself. It's so tempting, but I won't because of my friends. Wait, was I just talking about cellular respiration? *Sigh.* I've been studying too much for Bio. Fucking finals are coming up. I'm totally going to fail. I'm such an idiot. Ah well. Maybe I can be a good lawyer? Maybe. I don't think so. I think I'll go live in a box. Because I know I'm not being a writer. I think that pretty much ends this. I might post later today or maybe tomorrow if something interesting is happening. LIKE BEEDLE COMING OUT OMG SO EXCITED! Thanks to anyone who cares enough to this. Ily <3.

Ohai.

2008-12-02T17:53:00.000-08:00

Wow. It has definitely been a while, hasn't it? So it's almost the end of semester, and stuff like that. I can't believe it. December. That's just... insane. Just to think that in about a month it'll be 2009. Damn. And a lot has changed, too. I mean, my last post was like, what? September? Danggggg.... oh yeah. First thing's first. I think I've started swearing more. I mean, I'm not so sure, but whatever. So yeah, a lot has changed. The way I look at things has changed, the way I see people has changed, the things I do have changed. It's surprising, actually, now that I look back that it's been such a short amount of time. It's crazy. So let me start explaining, then. After September came--WTF?!?!? Sorry about that. Something just... happened. Something I didn't expect. Anyway, I'm not going to elaborate on that. Where was I? Oh right. September. Well, after September, obviously, is October. What did I do October? God, it feels like a million years ago. It's terrible seeing the time pass by so quickly and stuff. Anyway, I don't really remember October other than Halloween was amazingly awesome. I love my friends so fucking much. And then came November. Oh, boy, November. November was amazing. The first thing you think of when you hear 'November' is "OMFG THANKSGIVING FOOD LOL YUM" but for me it's "OMFG NANOWRIMO OMG LOL THAT'S SO... Omg..." So yeah. NaNoWriMo. Also known as National Novel Writing Month. So what it is basically, is you try to write a novel in thirty days, which is the month of November. The default goal for NaNoWriMo is 50,000 words. And I actually did it. My entire story is on another blog made by me, you can check it out. I actually made the word count before the story finished, so I won, but I didn't finish the story yet. I'm working on something else I started a long time ago now. But I will finish that last chapter and it should be up sometime in the near future. To my surprise, people are telling me they like it. I guess people can be nice, but it'd be nicer if they didn't lie to me. It's really not that good. *Rolls eyes* Whatever. This is why I hate people. You can't trust any of them. I'm not going to elaborate on the depressing stuff since you probably don't want to read any of that crap. Even though I know no one is going to read this, so I might as well ramble on and on about the depressing stuff and so on since I know that it won't bother anyone since no one is reading it or anything. Fuck them. Fuck people in general. I hate how everyone hates everyone. So basically, I've got a lot to say now. I'm totally stressing because F.I.N.A.L.S. (Fuck, I Never Actually Learned this Shit) is coming up soon. Like in a couple weeks. And I know it's only Freshman year, but I'm totally freaking out. I hate being in an all-azn school where everyone is perfect and gets straight A's which raises the expectation for those who are idiots. Like me. Ah well. I'm not going to let things like that bother me... or else... I'm going to try. Idk. It's not working. I'll talk about some other things going on and then I'm just going to say something that literally just came to my mind while writing this. So anyway... the good part of life that has recently just came back to me... POKEMON! So I found my old pokemon game and in five days I already beat the Johto legue (It's Crystal version, if you're wondering.) Also, I've FINALLY finished watching all the episodes that were ever released in English (That's right, up until season 11, bitches!) and now I'm actually WAITING for the new one to come out. (December 6th, 9 AM on Cartoon Network lol). So yeah. I'm a huge nerd. POKEMON LOVE! So from now on I expect everyone to call me the pokemon master. Because I am. No lie. I'm awesome. MOVING ON! So this is the thing that I've really been thinking about for the past... fifteen minutes or so. If you've seen my twitter of my facebook or anything like that, you'll say that I said "I'm just stopping" or something along those lines. Well, because I am stopping. Stopping just a couple things, though. What I'm STARTING is this blog again. Lol. That's funny. Anyway. So I'm thinking (main word there! Thinking!) about just... leaving the entire Harry Potter fandom as a whole. Just be a fan of the books and the movies and nothing more. Quit my collab channel, shut down my twitter. Etc etc. I might keep my HP-people on facebook, though, but I just won't talk to them I guess. And... I was ALSO thinking about giving up my dream on becoming a writer, but I think Sarah might've talked my out of that. I love you, Sarah <3.>Thanks to everyone who cares enough to read this.

-_-

2008-09-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

I'm such a failure. Oh, yeah. Another depressed post.

Seriously, I'm not good at anything. And if you've been following me on Twitter, you would know that. (Btw, http://twitter.com/kavitha_padfoot if you care enough about me to look.) I'M SUCH A FAILURE AT LIFE. No joke. It's so stupid. I mean, if I was at least good at one thing, I wouldn't be complaining or anything. And btw, I'm not complaining. Seriously, I absolutely hate life. It's full of so many talented people who actually get somewhere in life. AND THERE'S EVEN NON-TALENTED PEOPLE WHO GET SOMEWHERE IN LIFE.

So if I'm below non-talented, where am I supposed to go?

I really hate life. I wish I was good at SOMETHING. Anything. At least one thing.

Acedemically, I suck. I'm not smart at all. I struggle to keep my grades up. My parents hate me for that.

Athletically, I suck. There re people who get, like, four minute mile times in my school, and I get, like, ten minute mile times. And I'm not good at any sport, and last year during track the best I could clear was, like, four feet.

Talent-wise, I suck. I'M. NOT. GOOD. AT. ANYTHING. I swear. There are things I enjoy doing, like writing or singing or playing my instruments or whatever. Maybe even the useless things like vlogging or podcasting or ANYTHING. Sure, those are fun, and I enjoy them. But am I any good? Will it get me anywhere in life? WHAT IS THE POINT OF EVEN TRYING?!

This was a short depressed rant. I go on and on on Twitter. Follow me if you have it. Or don't if you don't want to hear my depressed-ness. I would assume you don't. I guess you hate me.

NEWS FLASH! I hate you, too.

>_>

Thanks to anyone who cares enough to read about me.

I don't hate you.

As much as I hate others.

So Beautiful. So Painful.

2008-09-26T16:49:00.001-07:00

New poem I wrote.

Interested?

Check it:

http://allpoetry.com/poem/4631143

Why?

2008-09-26T15:29:00.001-07:00

So, as you've seen by my last post, I'm in a bad mood.

SO maybe because of this whole roller coaster thing, I'd be in a good mood right now, right?

Wrong.

I still fail.

I hate life.

I hate everyone person alive and dead.

I hate the world.

And the world hates me.

Yaaay.

Yeah, so you're probably wondering why the title of this blog post is posted as so. It's because I'm asking "Why is the world so cruel? Why are people so terrible? Why me? Why are people always letting me down? Why, why, why!?"

God, life sucks.

The only good thing in my life right now is the fact that I'm reading Paper Towns by John Green. If you don't know what that is, you suck. If you do know what that is, HAHA I READ IT AND YOU DIDN'T!!

Anyway, back to the depression. All my life people have been letting me down. Seriously. Like, you know how parents say "Oh, public school is good for you. Yay for social interaction." Right? Well, I think I'd be the same no matter what. I absolutely detest people now, and have lost all faith in the human race. And it's not like I'm asking for too much, either. I don't expect too much out of people. I just expect something. I just... I can't depend on people. Whenever I even try, sooner or later, I always get let down. I absolutely hate it. Family, teachers... even friends who I thought had my back.

But no.

I have nothing.

I have nobody.

I don't think that I'll ever depend on someone for anything again.

I hate people.

And if you're reading this, I hate you, too.

>_>

Fail

2008-09-25T16:37:00.001-07:00

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FAIL.

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2008-08-31T23:10:00.000-07:00

Omg.

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

As people who I don't really care about who read this blog anyway have probably guessed, I have a significant other in my life.

If you haven't guessed, you're an idiot.

But I love him. I love him more than I hate life. He keeps me a live, and I am extremely lucky he is mine.

And as you can see, I'm a bit nuts about him. But I can't help it, he's so amazing.

But sometimes I think I'm pushing it a bit too much. Maybe I'm saying "I love you" one time too many. Maybe my poetry suddenly is getting old, and is starting to mean nothing. Maybe I'm starting to get annoying. Maybe I'm just coming on a little too... strongly.

STRONG.

That was the word I was looking for. When I felt like telling him, I always held back because I never knew what word to use.

STRONG.

The thing is, I like strong. I know I come on a little strongly, but the only reason I sometimes don't is because I'm scared he'll just get sick of it. But I sometimes just wish he would come on strongly to me. I mean, sometimes he does come on stronger than usual, but it's always because I do first.

And for those of you who are thinking "Oh, she is asking for too much. She wants more. Blah blah blah..." Well, I'm not asking. This is my blog. I'm just venting. I would never ask for more, especially if I'm perfectly satisfied. So I'm not asking. I'm venting.

Thank you to anyone who cares enough to read about me. Because if you care, I love you so much =]

Wow.

2008-08-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

Okay.

It's been a long time. Obviously, last time I was depressed. Now, life could not be better. (There we go with the roller coaster theory again. Lol!) There's only one terrible thing in life: High school. I hate it. I started on Monday, and I already want to get the hell out of there. I already have tests, exams, projects, and I absolutely hate the fact that one of my best friends is at another school.

We have a dance tonight, and another thing that bothers me is that the one thing that makes me happy is so far away from me. Even through this whole "happiness" business, I've had my ups and downs. I understand it can get annoying, but people just have to be understanding.

I'm a 13-year-old girl, for christssake, I'm going to get mood swings! I am crushed with pressure about school! The only thing that makes me happy is on the other side of this goddamned country! How do you think I'm supposed to feel? GOD!

*Inhales**Exhales*

All right. Sorry about that. I'm just happy my life has suddenly become so... wonderful. And it's all thanks to that one person. Oops! Did I say person? Lol. Yes, it is a person, but even though this blog is supposed to be to vent myself, I don't know who reads this, so I'll keep his (whoops, now we know it's a he!) name in my pocket for now ;)

So basically, life stinks and is wonderful all at the same time.

Damn this roller coaster.

I can't wait to get off this ride before I throw up.

Love to all the people who care enough to read this.

-Immense sigh-

2008-07-07T14:32:00.001-07:00

Wow, I haven't updated this in a long time. And it's not because I've been busy... it's because I've got nothing to talk about.
But today I have a LOT to talk about. Not because so much has happened between now and my last post, it's because of everything going on right now.
I don't know if this is something like puberty or anything, but I think I've had a ton of mood swings lately. I've been feeling so depressed lately. I don't know... it doesn't make sense. I'm trying to find out why I'm depressed, but there's only one thing coming up in my mind. I feel like no one gives a shit about me. I mean, sure, I've got friends and I've got family... but I just feel so unloved. Like no one cares about me. Why do I feel like this? I don't know. Maybe it's one-sided love. I wrote a poem once called 'black love.' Well, later I found out that love is a beautiful thing. But there are only two cases where love is truly black. 1. when you're experiencing one-sided love (like me) or 2. if you're experiencing lost love. Now I've never experienced lost love, but I have learned how much one-sided love hurts. I bet the guy I like doesn't even know I like him. We're good friends, but I don't think I'm ready to tell him that I like him. Now I won't state his name because he might read this. Then again, maybe I should say his name because no one reads this because no one cares about me, anyway. But there's always a chance, so I'm not going to say his name. And thus, the title of this post. -Immense sigh.- There are only two things that are making me happy at the moment. 1. my new obsession with the video game Brawl, and 2. talking to that guy I like. I haven't been playing Brawl for a while, so my only chance for staying alive right now is talking to that guy I like online. Otherwise I'd just kill myself. I just wish there were some way to tell him... without actually telling him.

Roller Coaster =O!

2008-05-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

So this post is titled this for a reason.

Since my last post, life has had its ups and downs.

I'm friends with Stephanie, but if you swear not to tell her, I am going to write this. I...I'm still a bit mad at her. I don't want her to get pissed, so don't tell her! The reason why I'm still mad is because when I was talking to Sarah, she started talking to me again, and I was just like "why are you talking to me? Aren't you mad?" And she said, "It's okay. It doesn't matter. I forgive you." CAN YOU FREAKING BELIEVE THAT!?!?!? I didn't even do anything!! She was supposed to say "I'm sorry," not "I forgive you"! I never even apologized! I had no reason to! I didn't freaking do anything!!!

But life is extremely good because yesterday was an amazing day. It was the last track meet, and I did the best yesterday this whole year. I was so freaking happy. When I cleared it, I screamed before I got off the mat. Lolz. That was one of the best days of my life. =D

But as the title of the post says, life has been going up... and now it's going... down...

You all know Zia? Well, if you dont, too bad. He is the biggest butt faced jerk on the history of all big butt faced jerks. I pretty much beat him up today (which, by the way, I feel kinda bad about...). He is so stupid! I told him NEVER to touch my back pack. Especially after he decides to start looking through it. So guess what he did today? You guessed it. And guess what he took? HE STOLE MY COMPOSITION BOOK IN WHICH I AM WRITING MY NOVEL. I guard that thing with my life! I don't know how much he read of it... so I'm starting it all over. Some of you reading this might not get this... but I just have to. After it's been read. I just have to start over. I got up 'til chapter ten. I worked so hard on it. You have no idea. Now it's going down the toilet. Ugh. It hurts just to think about it. -sigh.-

Well, I guess that's it for this blog post. Hopefully this ride that I call life will slowly... come to.. a stop. Thanks to those who love me. I love them back.

~~Kavitha/Padfoot <3

P.S. I wrote a new poem back when I was in "depression." I'll post it when I have time to type it up. Thanks again =)

Thank you.

2008-04-25T23:03:00.001-07:00

As you may have known, I haven't posted in a while.

You might think it's because nothing's been going on.

Boy, are you wrong.

I lost two friends in a day(possibly all of my friends at school), I cried during a track meet, I've had so much homework, so little time, so little sleep. But you're also probably wondering "If she's complaining, why did she title the post 'thank you'??"

Because of the reason I haven't been posting.

You see, I post on this blog to get my stress out because I have no one to talk to. But, I'd just like to thank some of my friends (you know who you are) for letting me kind of vent to them. I didn't even need the blog. So thanks a ton guys. You have no idea how much it means to me. I love you all so much. You're always there for me. I feel like I can tell you anything. Thanks again, and much love to ya. <3

So full of awesome.

2008-04-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

^Teehee. I've been saying that a lot lately. It's like my new thing xP

Okay, so since I've never been this bored in a very long time, I decided to tell you guys about the dance competition I had yesterday!!

Like I've been saying a lot, it was so full of awesome. =D

Okay, so I had to do two songs, one with my group, and one with the older girl's group. And our first song got first place (YAAAY!!!), even though we were positive it wasn't going to win anything, and our second song didn't get anything (NOOOO!!!) even though that was the one we worked harder on, and the one we thought was at least going to get third place, and the one that I stabbed my foot on!

So about my foot... I got like a bead or something that was on the stage stuck in my foot around the beginning of the song, and I had to dance with it throughout the whole song, and it bled a lot afterwards.

It still stings.

But at least we got one prize! And the little kid's group got third place for their song. YAAY!!

OMG I have to tell you guys one of the funniest moments that happened backstage!!

So our dance teacher's son is, like, a little kid, right? And back stage in one of the rooms, there were like all these lockers that were empty and open. So what he did was he went inside the lockers and just stayed there, and these girls from another group opened it and he was there and the girls screamed and it was SO FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!

This competition was a lot of fun, and I'm glad we got first place!

'Kay well now I'm bored again.

At least life is so full of awesome. =D

WTF?!?!

2008-04-16T15:17:00.001-07:00

Okay, some things about Spring Break can be flawed, and some things have started to piss me off.

So a few people I know have seriously gone depressed for no freaking reason at all (and if you're reading this you KNOW who you are.) And it's really starting to piss me off.

I mean, I understand that you're down and all. I've had those times, too. But I'm going to be venting some really deep feeling that I've been thinking about while talking to those... people who are down.

You see, whenever you guys are depressed, and I do try to cheer you up by talking to you and I really am trying, weather you think I am or not, and when you continue to be depressed, honestly... I feel a little useless. I mean, I always feel a little useless. You guys don't know this, but I always feel like nobody wants me. Sure, I talk to my friends. And sure, I talk to my family. But when my parents yell at me(which they tend to do a lot), and when my friends don't talk to me(like when they don't feel like talking to me because they're too depressed to talk *cough*), I totally feel like shit, because I feel useless. You don't have to deny it, I know nobody wants me. So basically, you guys can go on with your depressed life, and because no body gives a shit about me, I'll go on with my useless life.

You guys think you're unwanted? You guys think your lives are pointless? Psh. Don't even compare.

At least you guys have people to care about you.

At least you guys have people who try to comfort you.

At least you guys have a life!

So quit being depressed, and to hell with all your suicidal thoughts! Because if anyone has a reason to be emo, it should be me! So why the hell don't you guys freaking cheer up! GOD! PLEASE! SERIOUSLY IT'S KILLING ME INSIDE!!

Another reason I wanted to post this was because I wanted to show those people a little bit about how life is. Sometimes it's up, and sometimes it down. If you don't believe this, read the previous post, then read this again, and then tell me... aren't they exactly the same? >_>

Don't get in a pickle just because your life seems down at one point, because it's going to come back up. I can guarantee it. Thanks for reading this, because I really needed to get that out.

Awesomeness

2008-04-15T15:30:00.001-07:00

So far, spring break has been awesome. I can't wait 'til tomorrow because they're having this San Jose Idol competition near the library, and I am entering, and it'll be fun =D

Another awesome thing is that I've been sleeping in every day, and I love it.

ANOTHER awesome thing is that I discovered SMOSH!! OMG These guys are HILARIOUS!! Here's one of their videos, and so far, my favorite!

Aren't they awesome?!?!
Lmao.
Btw, latest MuggleCast was amazing. Spring break wrocks.
Speaking of wrock, I've also been downloading a ton more wizard rock songs. haha. I love it.
At the moment, life has been pretty awesome.
<3 smosh.
See ya.

Black Love

2008-04-11T22:18:00.000-07:00

So yeah, I was really bored, and I was thinking about... that guy... that I like... and so I tried to pour out my heart into words, but I couldn't write my novel (I wasn't in the zone) so I decided to take a crack at poetry. But keep in mind, I cannot write poetry for my life. I'm terrible at it. Well, here it is.

Black Love

Love is happiness.
Love is bliss.
Love is whatever you want it to be.
I have experienced love
And all of its benefits.
I have experienced love
And all of its evils.
Sometimes the wind blows in my hair
And I think about him.
Sometimes I sit alone
And I think about him.
Sometimes when life is down
I think about him.
Death is that of the darkest evils.
Blood is that of the greatest sin.
Pain is that of those who live.
Love is that of who die.
I love,
And I feel bliss.
I love,
And I feel sick.
He has no idea
About my feelings.
He has no idea
What I think of him.
He has no idea
My love is there.
He has no idea
My love is strong.
He has no idea
How cruel experiencing love is.
Love is never what you want it to be.
Love is pain.
Love is sadness.
Dark. Evil. Torture.
Black Love.

So, um, yeah.

2008-04-11T20:16:00.001-07:00

Since nobody read my first couple spiels, I highly doubt that anyone'll read this one. But whatever. Here I go.

OMG I can't believe it's finally spring break!! *SQEEE!!* I'm so happy! With all the work I got this past week, and all the nights staying up late, I am SOOO happy that spring break is FINALLY here because I need to sleep in every day because I love to sleep in!! I hate the mornings, ya know?

Also, I just had to fangirl about this some point of time, even though it's reaaallly late, but I can't believe all the awesome new songs Ministry of Magic is coming out with!! OMG!! YAAY!!! I LOVE their cover version of "Potions Yesterday" by Draco and the Malfoys, and I think that "Lovegood" is just about the most awesome song I've heard in the history of awesome songs. <3>

There's another thing I wanted to rant about, but it's a bit more personal. If you really don't care about anything I have to say, you should definitely stop reading NOW. So... there's this guy I like... and I mean, I think I really like him. He's really nice, really smart, and really funny. I only talk to him on chat though, and he hasn't been online for a while, so that makes me sad. I absolutely love talking to him. But now my ex is being a douche and he keeps trying to give me advice on how I shouldn't like him. I know for whoever reading this is wondering who I like, but incase people actually DO care, and are actually reading this. But I'll give you a hint! He=awesomeness=<3. class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">alphak4 at gmail dot com instead of commenting, because if you're right, I don't want everyone to know! So yeah, I just wanted to rant about what an idiot my ex was, for trying to tell me "Listen to your friends! Take my advice! Don't like this guy!!" Psh. What an idiot.

Well, I think that just about does it for this rant. I'll see y'alls later!

<33

Plz explain...

2008-04-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was talking to my friend Stephanie, and I showed her this picture because, you know, I thought it was funny: CLICK HERE. So then after that we had the following conversation:

Stephanie M
10:39 PM
NO IT IS NOT!1 Y DID U SHOW ME THAT!
Kavitha A
10:40 PM
...it's funny...
10:40 PM

what's wrong with you?
Stephanie M
10:40 PM
ITS INSULTING!! ESPECIALLY TO ME!!
Kavitha A
10:40 PM
??
10:40 PM

no it's not, it's just a joke o.O
10:40 PM

jeezus >_>
Stephanie M
10:40 PM
YEAH BUT IT HURTS
Kavitha A
10:40 PM
How?
10:40 PM

Dude
10:40 PM

it's just a joke
10:41 PM

and it's funny
Stephanie M
10:41 PM
ugh!!
Kavitha A
10:41 PM
what's up with you?
Stephanie M
10:42 PM
THAT STUPID PICTURE1! THJATS WHATS UP! PLZ TRY TO KEEP THINGS LIKE THAT TO YOURSELF!
Kavitha A
10:42 PM
??
10:42 PM

Dude
10:42 PM

it's just a joke
10:42 PM

and you're over reacting >_>
Stephanie M
10:43 PM
I DONT CARE BUT IT OFFENDS ME
Kavitha A
10:43 PM
How?
Stephanie M
10:43 PM
U DONT KNOW HOW?!
Kavitha A
10:43 PM
Um... no... >_>
Stephanie M
10:44 PM
ITS INFURIATING THAT THERE ARE PPL LIKE THAT !!
Kavitha A
10:44 PM
??
10:44 PM

I don't get what's up with you
10:44 PM

it's just a joke
Stephanie M
10:45 PM
YEAH BUT DID U HAVE TO SHOW ME?! U PROBABLY KNEW I WOULD HATE IT BUT I STILL LET ME SEE IT!
Kavitha A
10:46 PM
I didn't know you were going to hate it! Jeezus it's just a joke!
10:46 PM

I thought you would think it was funny...
10:46 PM

Gawd
Stephanie M
10:46 PM
NO ANYTHING LIKE THAT I HATE I DONT FIND ANY "JOKES" ABOUT TWILIGHT FUNNY
Kavitha A
10:46 PM
Dude
10:46 PM

I think jokes about Harry Potter are funny... even if they are insulting >_>
Stephanie M
10:46 PM
sorry
Kavitha A
10:47 PM
don't bitch on me like that over a joke, jeezus
Stephanie M
10:47 PM
yeah but im not like you im much more sensative and u know that
Kavitha A
10:47 PM
DUDE
10:47 PM

IT'S A FREAKIN' JOKE
10:47 PM

GAWD
Stephanie M
10:47 PM
yeah but simple jokes like that can make me cry
Kavitha A
10:48 PM
How?
10:48 PM

It's just a joke >_>
Stephanie M
10:48 PM
idk its just the way i am
Kavitha A
10:48 PM
wtf?
Stephanie M
10:48 PM
hey i cant help it ok so just deal withj it
Kavitha A
10:48 PM
whatever

Can somebody please explain why Stephanie is being so insane?? I really don't get this o.O

K, thanks for reading!

I'm pretty bored...

2008-04-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

...so I'm going to finally start the blogging. I really have to vent right now because a ton of people say I shouldn't hold my emotions back, so here's what's on my mind at the moment!

I am so pissed at my stupid report card! Out of seven classes, I only got THREE A'S! I mean, what is up with that? I really hope my parents don't take away my laptop for all the B's I got, because I don't know how I can live without it.

Also, track and field season started, and I am so excited! I joined high jump today (because, you know, I'm just that good *cough**best score 4'5"**cough*) and I finally found out what I was doing wrong and why I'm not clearing even things like 3'7"! I'm going too much to the side, and not up enough! Mr. Hong (high jump coach) says that I just need to focus on shooting my energy upwards, and the momentum will automatically take me over the bar. I hate my hips for that reason. The only thing I'm good at in sports is high jump. But I do like to do basketball for fun ;D

And another thing that I wanted to vent about is the french project that we got in class. So we have to get into a group of four and make this video and... OH now I've gotta tell this story! So in class, when our teacher first announced the video project she asked "how many people have tools to make a video?" Obviously, I raised my hand. Then she asked, "how many people know how to do that kind of stuff?" Again, I kept my hand raised. THEN she asked, "how many people know about podcasting?" And I raised my hand to its full extent, got out of my seat and literally shouted to the whole class "I know about podcasting! I even have a podcast! It's on iTunes and everything!!" And my stupid ex-bf Zia said "Yeah I listened to it, and it's horrible." The awesome part was that our teacher made him apologize in front of the whole class LOL!

So back to the project... in my group I have Jefferson (popular, but he's nice) Jeffrey (he's perfectly perfect >_>) and Kip, (nerdy kind of kid, but he's pretty cool). Three of my awesome friends in that class! Then Zia got all pissed that we didn't choose him to be in our group (we were only allowed to have four people) and then he started being all EMO and stuff about it. Then Kip said he was willing to leave the group and let Zia join ours, be then he didn't. Then I asked him later why, and he just said that he wanted to be in his other group with all of his boyfriends because he was the smartest one there *cough* and that he was they needed him. I was just like "Whatever." So I just decided to forget it, but I do feel kinda bad he isn't in our group.

WELL. This has been quite the post! I have a TON more venting coming ahead! It feels good to get all this steam out! Whoo! Thanks for everyone who actually cares, and actually read this xP

And honestly, I don't care if you read it or not. It's my life, my blog. Thanks again!!

~~Kavitha/Padfoot <3

Blogging?

2008-04-02T19:48:00.001-07:00

What is blogging? Well, that's what I'm trying to find out. Every time I'm bored, or every time I have something on my mind, it's likely to come here. Hope I don't bore people with people who are actually interested in what I have to say. And I highly doubt there are any people who are interested in this blog at all, but hey, it's my blog.

My life.

2008-04-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

There's no such thing. I am basically a lifeless girl with nothing better to do. I decided to start blogging, because I already have a blog about my podcast, and I just needed a place to get my thoughts out. I thought this would be perfect. So let the blogging begin.