Yo.

I'm in a wonderful mood. In drama we started watching West Side Story, and I freaking love it! And now I'm watching it online because we won't finish it in class. It's really amazing. Also, we're having a dinner play thingy soon. I don't want to explain it because I had to explain it to two people already. I don't want to have to re-explain. I will say this, though, I auditioned. I didn't think I did bad, but there were a ton of people better. Maybe I got in. Who knows?! But now I want to talk about other stuff. I have a follower on this blog. Whoever the hell "C" is. Lol. Tell me who you are, 'kay? Thanks =]. So I read Beedle the Bard. I don't have to tell you how fucking amazing it was. JKR is a genius, I understand this. I wish I could be good at writing =/. Ah well. This isn't a depressed post! I loved the book, 'nuff said. I also got another little book called Harry, A History. If you're not part of the fandom, it's a book about the Harry Potter fandom. It's written by the webmistress of the Leaky Cauldron, Melissa Anelli. I'm loving it so far. Maybe I'll return to the fandom eventually. I'm not really "MISSING" it, so to speak, but it's aite. So I'm procrastinating my homework and watching West Side Story right now. So that's why I'm making this blog post. I've got nothing better to do. Well, I'm pretty lifeless. I don't know why you're following me, "C." Anyway, thanks to anyone who cares enough to read this. Ily <3

Hm.

So yeah. I kept up my promise. I'm updating this almost every day now. That makes me a happy camper. =]. So anyway, today is Friday. I won't usually post on Thursdays because 1) they're my least favorite day of the week, and 2) it's the day with the most work/the most things I need to do. Fuck Thursdays, I love Fridays. I don't have to do any homework today, and I have dance class later and I get to stay up and then SLEEP IN tomorrow morning. God, I love sleeping in. So anyways, not a lot has been happening I guess. I STILL haven't gotten Beedle the Bard. I wish I could get it today, but idk if I can because I have to go to dance class and then to a choir concert after. One of my friends is in it, and i love her. I'm eating rice right now. Lol. Random. Ily. CONTINUING! I'm looking forward to the concert if I can get it, and then for sure tomorrow I am getting that damned book! lol. JKR <3. So I know I've mentioned on here before that I'm leaving the Harry Potter fandom, but now I've announced it on facebook. If you're one of my facebook friends, you'll be able to see it in the notes that I've made. There are some comments on it, but I'm kind of just letting them go through one ear and out the other. But maybe Katie's comment is right, maybe I should just take a break from it all. But when I come back, people will treat me the same. Or at least, that's what I think. OMFG. It's Friday, I should go play pokemon. Lolol. I think I will after I post this. Omg, I should go see if Fresh Prince is on. I love that show. And I <3 Will Smith, he's my favorite actor everrrr. Lol. WS <3. So today I'm in a much better mood than I was lately. It could just be because of the crappy Thursday, but................. idk. I'm a happy child. So I've also started looking into what it takes to be a lawyer and stuff, and I'm telling you... it doesn't look fun =/... But... I'm not going to get anywhere with writing, because I totally suck at it. So I guess lawyer is the way to go. Maybe I'll get lucky and enjoy this kind of stuff. Eh. Doubt it. But I mean... I'm good at speaking and debating, right? Well, I might not be GOOD at it, but I'm helluva lot better at that than writing. I mean, even if you just read my blog posts you'll see how crappy I am. Like, I use adjectives like "crappy." WTF? And I pretty much write my stories how I talk. So I'm not going to be a writer anymore, I've dropped my dream of becoming like John Green or JKRowling. I guess I'll just have to... life with that. FMFL. Ah well. So how have you been doing? Leave a comment and tell me, I'd love to hear about YOUR day for once. Oh, btw, Blogger has this nifty little device on the right side of the page right over there that will allow you to follow my blog. I mean, all you need is a google account, and every time you log into blogger, you get updated if I've made a new post or not! I'd love to see how many people actually read my emo rants. Click follow if you do, that would make me so happy if anyone was actually interested in what I said. *Sigh* I'm about to be very honest right now. Ever since I've started being single again I've been really lonely. I mean, I'm not even lonely. I just feel like I am. I feel like I want a boyfriend or someone who will care about me, and not just some jerk face who tells me lies that he cares about me. I mean, I want someone real. But there's apparently no guy like that for me. Maybe I did have a perfect guy once, but his life was so bad that he committed suicide. Maybe. Maybe I should follow him and do the same. Is there really anyone out there for me? For some reason, I highly doubt that. Who the eff would like a girl like me? Maybe a moron. Yeah, that's it! Maybe my perfect guy is retarded. It could work... kinda. So I've been thinking a little too much about guys lately. It's starting to get bad. Why can't I just accept the fact that I'm single? FMFL. Oh well. I just hope I don't get really desperate and fall for one of the worst guys possible. That would be bad. Anyway, see you next rant. Thanks to everyone who cares enough to read this. Ily <3

Omfg.

So I said I'd be updating my blog more often, and so I shall keep my promise. I guess maybe I'm just here because I'm bored, but really... idk. So anyway, first thing's first. I'd like to thank my wonderful beautiful amazingly awesome coolio freakish too many adjectives friends for being so wonderful beautiful amazing awesome coolio freakish and too many more adjectives. You guys are fucking amazing and I love you. And no, I shall never be a homo dude. DARLING. Lol. Anyway. So I'm still in a sort of in a pissed off mood at practically the entire Harry Potter fandom. Or at least the people I have met through it. I really freaking hate all of them right now. Except maybe two individuals. But other than them, they all sort of piss me off. I'm not going to say any names in case anyone is reading this. But no one is reading this, so why should I give a shit? Leave a comment on this post if you're actually reading this. Or tell me, either one works. Thnx. Ily <3. SO. I'm still trying to be the very best that no one ever was. THAT'S RIGHT! I'm talking about pokemon. Pokemonpokemonpokemon. I love it so much, I have a henna tattoo on my hand of a pokeball. I chose the pokeball because it's the easiest to draw. I was thinking about doing pikachu, but then I was like "HELL NO! I can't draw for shit!" So yeah. Pokemon. Teehee. The next episode that I haven't watched/hasn't been aired in English yet is coming out December 6th. I can't wait! Even though the Sinnoh region totally sucks compared to Kanto and Johto. Sorry if you don't know what I'm talking about lol. So on my Crystal (I think I said this already...) I beat the Johto region and now I've beet Lt. Surge who is the third gym leader in Kanto. I'm so awesome! <3 Typhlosion. But the thing I'm looking forward to the most is catching new strong Kanto region pokemon. I'm sick of training all my pokemon to level up. Bleh. Like, I caught this lvl 16 Marril just so I could use surf (Because in general, I hate water pokemon) but then once I started going into Kanto, I caught a tentecruel that's lvl 30! So I totally used that instead of Marril. But then, once I made it to Vermillion city, I found this other tentecruel that was 37!! I didn't catch it though. That was dumb. So yeah, pokemon is becoming a really big part of my life again. I absolutely love it =]. OMFG! Beedle the Bard is coming out tomorrow! I'm so excited, I really want to buy it! But if I buy it on Amazon, it's not going to come in tomorrow, and I really want it! But then again, what kind of Harry Potter fan doesn't want to buy it? CRAZY ONES! Lol. I love Harry Potter with all my heart (well, the part of my heart that doesn't love other things like John Green, Pokemon and my IRL friends) but the people I've met through the fandom (except those two people) are all fucking idiots. Yay! Well... maybe a little more than two people. I guess. Maybe. But definitely a majority.... Fuck them, I've got real friends whom I can see in front of my face whenever I want. I'm so glad. But I really just feel like killing myself at the moment. I totally have officially given up on being a writer now. I mean, no one really cares. I suck at writing anyway. I mean, I'm really bad. There are so much more better people than me. Oh well. FMFL. But I'm really only in a bad mood because I don't know if I should leave the HP-Fandom or not. I really don't know. I really don't. But... so far I'm sticking with yes I'm leaving it. And if those fuckers want me back, they can kiss my ass. But if I quit weekofwicked and shut down my twitter, I don't think they'd have any ways of contacting me. Thank God! And I don't want certain people whom I hate to call this a plea for attention. I don't want them to say "Oh, she's just trying to create more drama and that's why she's doing this. She wants people to pay attention to her." Fuck them. You know what? This isn't a plea for attention or anything like that. It's really not. I want to leave this fucking world that we call "the fandom" because I don't feel like I belong in that crowd. This is not a gimmick for attention, just so people know. And posting on this blog isn't, either, because I need a way to release all this fucking stuff inside of me so I don't explode or something. And I have no one to release it to, so I release it on this blog and then it just... goes. It's like if cellular respiration just took place in one step, all the energy would go to waste by being release as heat into the atmosphere. I guess that's a good thing for me, though. I'm letting it all out at once into the atmosphere, and no one can judge me on it. Unless they care enough to see how I'm doing. FMFL. Maybe I should just kill myself. It's so tempting, but I won't because of my friends. Wait, was I just talking about cellular respiration? *Sigh.* I've been studying too much for Bio. Fucking finals are coming up. I'm totally going to fail. I'm such an idiot. Ah well. Maybe I can be a good lawyer? Maybe. I don't think so. I think I'll go live in a box. Because I know I'm not being a writer. I think that pretty much ends this. I might post later today or maybe tomorrow if something interesting is happening. LIKE BEEDLE COMING OUT OMG SO EXCITED! Thanks to anyone who cares enough to this. Ily <3.

Ohai.

Wow. It has definitely been a while, hasn't it? So it's almost the end of semester, and stuff like that. I can't believe it. December. That's just... insane. Just to think that in about a month it'll be 2009. Damn. And a lot has changed, too. I mean, my last post was like, what? September? Danggggg.... oh yeah. First thing's first. I think I've started swearing more. I mean, I'm not so sure, but whatever. So yeah, a lot has changed. The way I look at things has changed, the way I see people has changed, the things I do have changed. It's surprising, actually, now that I look back that it's been such a short amount of time. It's crazy. So let me start explaining, then. After September came--WTF?!?!? Sorry about that. Something just... happened. Something I didn't expect. Anyway, I'm not going to elaborate on that. Where was I? Oh right. September. Well, after September, obviously, is October. What did I do October? God, it feels like a million years ago. It's terrible seeing the time pass by so quickly and stuff. Anyway, I don't really remember October other than Halloween was amazingly awesome. I love my friends so fucking much. And then came November. Oh, boy, November. November was amazing. The first thing you think of when you hear 'November' is "OMFG THANKSGIVING FOOD LOL YUM" but for me it's "OMFG NANOWRIMO OMG LOL THAT'S SO... Omg..." So yeah. NaNoWriMo. Also known as National Novel Writing Month. So what it is basically, is you try to write a novel in thirty days, which is the month of November. The default goal for NaNoWriMo is 50,000 words. And I actually did it. My entire story is on another blog made by me, you can check it out. I actually made the word count before the story finished, so I won, but I didn't finish the story yet. I'm working on something else I started a long time ago now. But I will finish that last chapter and it should be up sometime in the near future. To my surprise, people are telling me they like it. I guess people can be nice, but it'd be nicer if they didn't lie to me. It's really not that good. *Rolls eyes* Whatever. This is why I hate people. You can't trust any of them. I'm not going to elaborate on the depressing stuff since you probably don't want to read any of that crap. Even though I know no one is going to read this, so I might as well ramble on and on about the depressing stuff and so on since I know that it won't bother anyone since no one is reading it or anything. Fuck them. Fuck people in general. I hate how everyone hates everyone. So basically, I've got a lot to say now. I'm totally stressing because F.I.N.A.L.S. (Fuck, I Never Actually Learned this Shit) is coming up soon. Like in a couple weeks. And I know it's only Freshman year, but I'm totally freaking out. I hate being in an all-azn school where everyone is perfect and gets straight A's which raises the expectation for those who are idiots. Like me. Ah well. I'm not going to let things like that bother me... or else... I'm going to try. Idk. It's not working. I'll talk about some other things going on and then I'm just going to say something that literally just came to my mind while writing this. So anyway... the good part of life that has recently just came back to me... POKEMON! So I found my old pokemon game and in five days I already beat the Johto legue (It's Crystal version, if you're wondering.) Also, I've FINALLY finished watching all the episodes that were ever released in English (That's right, up until season 11, bitches!) and now I'm actually WAITING for the new one to come out. (December 6th, 9 AM on Cartoon Network lol). So yeah. I'm a huge nerd. POKEMON LOVE! So from now on I expect everyone to call me the pokemon master. Because I am. No lie. I'm awesome. MOVING ON! So this is the thing that I've really been thinking about for the past... fifteen minutes or so. If you've seen my twitter of my facebook or anything like that, you'll say that I said "I'm just stopping" or something along those lines. Well, because I am stopping. Stopping just a couple things, though. What I'm STARTING is this blog again. Lol. That's funny. Anyway. So I'm thinking (main word there! Thinking!) about just... leaving the entire Harry Potter fandom as a whole. Just be a fan of the books and the movies and nothing more. Quit my collab channel, shut down my twitter. Etc etc. I might keep my HP-people on facebook, though, but I just won't talk to them I guess. And... I was ALSO thinking about giving up my dream on becoming a writer, but I think Sarah might've talked my out of that. I love you, Sarah <3.>Thanks to everyone who cares enough to read this.

-_-

I'm such a failure. Oh, yeah. Another depressed post.

Seriously, I'm not good at anything. And if you've been following me on Twitter, you would know that. (Btw, http://twitter.com/kavitha_padfoot if you care enough about me to look.) I'M SUCH A FAILURE AT LIFE. No joke. It's so stupid. I mean, if I was at least good at one thing, I wouldn't be complaining or anything. And btw, I'm not complaining. Seriously, I absolutely hate life. It's full of so many talented people who actually get somewhere in life. AND THERE'S EVEN NON-TALENTED PEOPLE WHO GET SOMEWHERE IN LIFE. 

So if I'm below non-talented, where am I supposed to go?

I really hate life. I wish I was good at SOMETHING. Anything. At least one thing.

Acedemically, I suck. I'm not smart at all. I struggle to keep my grades up. My parents hate me for that.

Athletically, I suck. There re people who get, like, four minute mile times in my school, and I get, like, ten minute mile times. And I'm not good at any sport, and last year during track the best I could clear was, like, four feet. 

Talent-wise, I suck. I'M. NOT. GOOD. AT. ANYTHING. I swear. There are things I enjoy doing, like writing or singing or playing my instruments or whatever. Maybe even the useless things like vlogging or podcasting or ANYTHING. Sure, those are fun, and I enjoy them. But am I any good? Will it get me anywhere in life? WHAT IS THE POINT OF EVEN TRYING?! 

This was a short depressed rant. I go on and on on Twitter. Follow me if you have it. Or don't if you don't want to hear my depressed-ness. I would assume you don't. I guess you hate me.

NEWS FLASH! I hate you, too.

<3

>_>

Thanks to anyone who cares enough to read about me.

I don't hate you.

As much as I hate others.

So Beautiful. So Painful.

New poem I wrote.

Interested?

Check it:

http://allpoetry.com/poem/4631143

Why?

So, as you've seen by my last post, I'm in a bad mood.

SO maybe because of this whole roller coaster thing, I'd be in a good mood right now, right?

Wrong.

I still fail.

I hate life.

I hate everyone person alive and dead.

I hate the world.

And the world hates me.

Yaaay.

Yeah, so you're probably wondering why the title of this blog post is posted as so. It's because I'm asking "Why is the world so cruel? Why are people so terrible? Why me? Why are people always letting me down? Why, why, why!?"

God, life sucks.

The only good thing in my life right now is the fact that I'm reading Paper Towns by John Green. If you don't know what that is, you suck. If you do know what that is, HAHA I READ IT AND YOU DIDN'T!!

Anyway, back to the depression. All my life people have been letting me down. Seriously. Like, you know how parents say "Oh, public school is good for you. Yay for social interaction." Right? Well, I think I'd be the same no matter what. I absolutely detest people now, and have lost all faith in the human race. And it's not like I'm asking for too much, either. I don't expect too much out of people. I just expect something. I just... I can't depend on people. Whenever I even try, sooner or later, I always get let down. I absolutely hate it. Family, teachers... even friends who I thought had my back. 

But no.

I have nothing.

I have nobody.

I don't think that I'll ever depend on someone for anything again.

I hate people.

And if you're reading this, I hate you, too.

<3 

>_>